Rock Cobbler 3.0: It Doesn’t Have To Be Fun To Be A Good Time

I've wanted to do the Rock Cobbler the last few years, but my schedule or other things (I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to suffer) prevented me from making it.  This year I had extra motivation because I figured it would be the perfect shakedown for Dirty Kanza and would give me an idea of where I am fitness and bike set-up wise.  

As the weeks leading up to it ticked off, I have to admit I was a little nervous.  I've been riding a bunch but for all kinds of reasons I haven't been able to string together the long rides needed for an epic day on the bike.  I don't think I've ridden more than 4 hours at a time in almost a year.  I've had a few 3 to 4 hours rides the last few weeks, but didn't know how much I’d have left after the 5-hour mark.

We met at Lengthwise Brewery on Sunday morning for a quick breakfast (mostly bacon) before getting dressed and ready for the riders meeting.  After some funny stories, a speech on safety, and some motivating words about how tough the day would be, the neutral roll out started and led us through town and out a bike path for almost a full hour.  This was the nicest part of the day and lulled me into a bit of a false sense of security as we rolled along, chatted, and didn’t really think about what was ahead.  

Getting ready to roll!

Neutral roll out was led by a scooter for close to an hour.  Credit: Derek Smith

My ride for the day was a mostly stock Niner BSB9 RDO with 46x36 gearing up front and 11 speed 11/32 in the back. I was planning on running some 35C Clement tires, but after a slashed sidewall that week I threw on the stock Schwalbe 33C X-Ones.  I definitely could have used the wider 35's on the many sand sections. 

The pace immediately picked up as the neutral roll out ended and after a short paved climb we headed into the dirt.  At this point I could see the main group on the first dirt climb a few hundred yards ahead and I couldn’t help but stare at the people getting shelled off the back. I made it up the climb on my bike without any issues set my sights on one of the smaller groups now just in front of me.

Derek Smith photo

After a few more tough dirt climbs and fun downhills, we arrived at the first real test of the day:  A very steep and rutted climb.  This climb would be tough to make carrying speed into it, but it was made all the tougher by a few sandy sections just before the bottom that robbed any momentum.  I picked a line, put my head down and pedaled.  I was plugging along ok, and then I looked up and realized I had 2 ruts coming together in front of me and before I knew it I was walking. 

This was the first real test of the day and had a lot of us walking.  

It seemed there was always something happening during the ride.  For example, just after the first SAG stop we were heading up a climb in the middle of a field when I look up and see a herd of cattle charging towards the riders maybe 50 yards in front of me.  It was funny at first, but then they got close with no signs of slowing down.  Right at the point where it looked like things could get ugly, the cattle all stopped, turned around and walked away almost as if they were part of a ride at Disneyland.

You can't argue with scenery like this.  Matt Baffert photo.

The only long sustained climb of the day started around mile 35, and it was a tough one.  I was still with a large group at this point, but it quickly shattered us and before I knew it I was alone.  The first few steep up pitches where rideable, but took their toll, and the final 2 were essentially hike-a-bikes (but not THE hike-a-bike. More on that later). 

This hill was basically a long walk.

I picked up a few riders and shared the work on the long paved road to the second SAG stop.  We were greeted at this stop by a crew asked us all to show them our abs for beads (Mardi Gras theme).  After a quick refill of the bottles and some food to go, I set off to conquer the second half of the course.  The last 30 miles were less intense, but still really challenging and were basically a tour through some of the more interesting parts of the area outside of Bakersfield.  We passed old spas, washing machines, sofas, and my personal favorite, the turn in the middle of a field that was marked by a banner strung between an abandoned microwave and mini-fridge.

The promoters also placed a few hidden treasures on this part of the course.  Notable examples are the Habanero beer hand up, which probably would have been a lot better if my heart rate wasn’t over 160, and the checkpoint where we tossed a rock and if we made it in a bucket we were awarded a 3 minute time bonus (I didn’t come close).

64 miles in I found myself with a group of riders heading up a canyon.  The trail got more and more narrow and steep as we rode and before long we were in a single file death march to the dreaded hike-a-bike I had heard so much about.  Not much can be said other than it sucked.  It was about 500 feet long, and the top 2/3’s was steep enough people were putting their hand on the ground in front of them as they carried their bike up on their back.

Making our way up the canyon.  You can barely make out the checkpoint at the top.

Yeah....  It was that steep.  Derek Smith photo

Reaching the top of this climb was cause for celebration, until we were greeted with another challenge:  10 pushups or face a 5-minute time penalty.  10 pushups may not seem like much, but doing them close to your max HR is harder than it sounds.  Someone told me that it “was all downhill to the finish” as I was handed my checkpoint card and a cold coke, at which point I called her a liar because we still had close to 1K elevation left per the profile.  She laughed and said, “well the hardest climb is done.”  So there was that I guess.

After a few more steep descents and climbs we hit Mr. Toads downhill, which made its way through a narrow canyon with tight high-bermed turns and a few rollers thrown in.  Leaving the canyon I was smiling for the first time since the neutral roll out that morning.  I was happy and relaxed, then I realized I still had 10 miles left and with some more surprises in store.

I’ve had this long standing theory the worst part of every long ride or race is the last 10 miles.  It doesn’t matter if the ride is 75 miles, 100 miles or 150 miles.  No matter how good you feel, how fun the ride has been, the last 10 miles are long and wear on you mentally.  Time stands still.   All of the pain points hurt more.  Fatigue sets in and it just drags on.  This ride was no different.  That last 30 to 40 minutes seemed to take as long as the entire ride before it.

Not content with sending us back out a bike bath to the finish, the promoters sent us winding through various paths, underpasses and river bed crossings that had everything from hard pack, to rocks, to multiple long sections (20 to 50 yards) of deep sand.  This made the last 10 miles suck even more.  I was OVER the sand at this point.  I had my chain and derailleur jam up and had to fix that.  My feet hurt. And I was really hungry.  I was definitely feeling the lack of long distance rides leading up to the Rock Cobbler.

Luckily I had a few people around me to pace myself off of that kept me going.  I think I would have really fallen off if I didn’t have anyone to pace with. (I won’t mention that one was a mountain biker I had trouble keeping with while on the paved bike path).

Obligatory mid-ride selfie.

I ended the day in 55^th with a time of 6:17.53.  Not awesome, but not bad.  I think I could have shaved maybe 10 minutes off easily if I had been able to keep it together more on the ride back in and not chilled out so much for miles 50 to 65.  That being said, I felt good the majority of the day, didn’t cramp, and learned a lot about what to expect for the Dirty Kanza.

The Niner BSB9 worked took everything the Rock Cobbler threw at it.

During the neutral ride back to the Brewery, I found myself contemplating how the Rock Cobbler stacks up in difficulty to other big events I have done (Nosco Ride, Vision Quest, etc.).  The elevation is less than most those rides and it doesn’t reach the mileage of the BWR, but I found the Rock Cobbler to be very intense, especially for the first 50 miles.  The thing about this ride is that there really isn’t anywhere to rest.  Keeping in mind there was 7K climbing spread out over 34 climbs, all but 1 or 2 of which were under 10 minutes, you quickly realize the majority of the climbs are short, but very steep.  There wasn’t a lot of chance all day to sit in, get in a rhythm and tick off miles.

That being said, this was one of the best events I have done.  The course was really challenging and the promoters did a lot to make things safe, interesting, and fun.  Following the ride they had a big party back and Lengthwise Brewery with free food (amazing Mac and Cheese) and beer, and Rock Cobbler aprons for all the finishers. Maybe next year I'll actually train for it.